February 2012
402 posts
Ricky: Don't you have some offs to fuck?
Randy: What?
Ricky: Fuck off!
Mum: You look nice tonight, where are you going?
Me:
Mum:
Me: .. The bathroom, i need a new profile picture
7 tags
I want to take this moment out of my sleepless...
I really miss Michael Scott.
3 tags
I just sat on Omegle & Chatroulette for an hour...
Stranger: p
Stranger: preety
Stranger: ur bf
Stranger: ?
You: im a lesbian
Stranger: who is he
You: my best friends cousins great uncles second wifes son
Stranger: he will tired to rape u
Stranger: ya
Stranger: believe me
Stranger: he was looking
Stranger: at ur bra
Stranger: see
Stranger: i told u
Stranger: did he
Stranger: give u a drink
You: three
You: they tasted funny
Stranger: see
Stranger: it was voka
You: NO NOT VOKA
Stranger: to make u sleep
Stranger: so he can fuck u
Stranger: believe me
Stranger: then
You: i believe you
Stranger: he will film that
Stranger: and upload it on xvideos
You: will i at least get a profit?
Stranger: ya
Stranger: but
You: then thats ok
Stranger: a lot of guy wil l masturbate on the vid
You: im flattered
Stranger: u like it
You: erryday
Stranger: didi u see wwhat he did
Stranger: ?
You: noo
You: what did he do?
Stranger: he was trying to finger u
Stranger: ya
Stranger: beleive me
Stranger: i saw it
You: dat shit cray
Stranger: call the police
Stranger: or run away
Stranger: what time is it ?
You: im paralyzed must be the drink
You: SHIITITITTT
Stranger: oh yaaaaaaaa
Stranger: its not funny
Stranger: thats seerious
You: looks like you were right the whole time
You: :,(
Stranger: ya
Stranger: what time is it
Stranger: ?
You: 12:49:56:99
Stranger: i knew that
Stranger: he was waiting for that
Stranger: to make u sleep
Stranger: and then ...............
Stranger: u will no longer be a virgin
Stranger: believe me
You: thats a problem
Stranger: oofcourrse
Stranger: u will be on xvideos
You: imma be famous
You: ill sign yo titties
Stranger: u will be a pornstar
You: "dat bitch on xvideos"
Alex: Everybody give it up for Jack on the guitar over here! Never played one note...in his whole life...we just found him...he was a trailer trash wash-up...dropped outta highschool...no parents...no siblings...not even a-
Jack: my sister is here! dude, my sister is at the fucking show!
Alex: May, where are you?
Jack: May, where are you?!
Alex: May, show us your boobs!
4 tags
So I finally put my last three paychecks in my...
and instead of spending my money on clothes and shoes and perfume like a normal girl, I’m on Amazon, buying books by F. Scott Fitzgerald & Alice Munro. Nerd mode activated.
Excuse me, but
generalbrian:
Why are there not more blogs devoted to attractive men holding cute cats? Because I would follow the shit out of those blogs. I love attractive men. I love cute cats. Why can’t they be in the same picture?
About to legit make a game plan with my roommate
on how to clean our room.
We’re pigs.
But we’re creative pigs.
“I read this cheesy quote once: ‘Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make...”
– Chelsea Handler (via drivehersoul)
2 tags
jakebundlick:
some girls freak me out
especially the hitchhiking ones with crowbars
